I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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