fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
