Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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