TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
