I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
