bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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