Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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