I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
