**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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