if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm really busy with my period
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