need another drink. this is the easiest way
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my shit smells like andre
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
