If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
