My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
