i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
