My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
