We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
