If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
