They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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