dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
