I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Even my vagina gasped.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
