You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
