Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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