Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
