dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
