i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
