OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
