I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
