well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
