My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
