he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
