I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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