If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
