I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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