I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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