Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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