the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
