is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
