from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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