last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
