Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
