She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
