I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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