My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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