Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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