i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize