his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
