yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
