did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
