My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
