there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
