It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
