He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
